stop it....

got to...
stop...
...
all
...
do I have to ???????????

Is it just because I'm doing everything I'm not supposed to, that I can still be happy no matter what has happened/is happening/isn't happening/will never happen????

and what if I don't... (stop?)...

I might die tonight... or tomorrow... so what's the point in self restrain if we never know when we'll die? do we want the last part of our lives to be contained, within boundaries, forcefully enforcing some kind of idea... or do we want it to be the happiest and coolest and carefree moment?

This can be debated - and it has been - for ever.
Isn't it what society is all about, what humans have that differentiate them (does it?) from other animal species?
But how can we conciliate the basic, animal, primary needs with the higher, intellectual desire of continuing to strive for better selves, better micro-cosmos, better macro-cosmos, better humanity...?
Does it make sense to die fighting for an idea? Yes absolutely!!!

So....

back to basics...

and

....

I need to stop....

to feel human again....

will this mean I'll be also sad again...?